My Heart Hurts
It's been 3 months now and everyday is weird. I am living a new "normal" and I am not use to yet. Getting Clementine kind of adds some smiles here and there, but I just do not know how to process these past 2 years. I still can't believe I lost Josiah to cancer. I still can't believe that we endured seeing him pass away before our very eyes. I do know all that was reality, but never in a million years would I have ever thought that my first born little boy would die of cancer. I hurt real bad and this empty hole in my heart is aching. I have been having some health concerns with my heart. It's just these palpatations so my doctor is running some tests on me. All this stress just really impacted my heart physically and emotionally.
Outside of missing Josiah, I am looking for a job and have signed up for ballet classes. I will try to continue school in the summer. I still would like to pursue nursing, I just have to finish up my basics.
Please pray for us.
posted by Maria | 11:52 PM
2 Comments:
everytime I read your blog or xanga I search for the right words to say to you but I never come up with anything. I can't imagine living life after losing a child but i know for the sake of the other child you have to pick yourself up... and not just for his sake but for everyones. you have truly shown to lots of people that you are a strong woman of God. I think its awesome that you are getting back into "normal" life routines. I had a friend who lost a child in a car accident and she's never been able to move forward... guilt doesn't allow her to and no matter how many times she's told its not her fault by everyone who loves her she will not allow herself to enjoy life. I don't communicate with her anymore b/c she's shut everyone out... all i can do is pray for her to find the strength that you've found. You amaze me... God amazes me. Thanks for sharing with us you journey.
Maria...
I just want you to know that you have a permanent impression of STreght love hope and friendship on so many hearts! I think about you often and wish I lived closer to you... I love you so much! I will be praying for your heart for God to heal it emotionally and physcially.. your in Gods hands!!
love ya!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home