Finding Out
On November 8th - 13th went to Puerto Rico to visit my family and for a youth convention that Pastor Lloyd and Frontline (from Phoenix Master's Commission) were helping out with. Here is a day by day document of how we came to find out about Josiah's mallody.
Monday - We flew to Puerto Rico and Josiah was fine. At that point I did not notice anything different, other than him being a little tired due to waking up so early. We landed and met my parents there and went straight to my grandmother's house. We had a great Puerto Rican dinner. From there we went to our hotel and Josiah was still acting fine.
Tuesday - We went to my grandma again and spent most of the day there. One event that sticks out to me is when Dan went to run an errand Josiah got so upset that he left. I mean Josiah was out of control mad. I knew he pitched fits like a normal 4 year old, but this was like the incredible hulk of all fits. Well after calming him down and soothing him he remained real quiet. I thought it was because he must of been tired from his fit. My grandmother watched him closely and paid close attention to Josiah's facial expression. She felt in her spirit that something was wrong neurologically. It was something in the way he was staring. I did not know this at that time because she did not tell me until my mom mentioned it to me at the airport when we were to fly home. So I continued to think that he was okay and that he was just tired.
Wednesday - We went to El Morro, which is a huge Spanish fort. It is absolutely gorgeous there. It requires a lot of walking going from place to place and plus it's hot. Josiah was acting a little different. This time I noticed. He was asking me to carry him and that he was to tired to walk. He seemed like he had a virus or something. After El Morro we went to my parent's resort and Josiah was feeling a little better.
Thursday - We spent the day at my parent's resort. Josiah enjoyed the pool and hanging out with his grandpa. It really was a good day. Later that night Dan and I went out to eat and my parents watched the boys for us. Everything was fine.
Friday - We had to drive down south to Ponce where the youth convention was held. It was a grueling drive. We had go through the jungle and over small mountains. Josiah slept the entire time. Ben on the other hand got car sick and threw up oreo cookies. It was so messy and smelly! Anyway Josiah continued to sleep. When we arrived we checked in to our resort and we got settled. Josiah was fine he seemed to be having a good time. When it came time to sleep he and Benaiah did great.
Saturday - This was going home day. We had to pack up and leave to San Juan which would be a 3 hour drive. Josiah and Ben did fine. I did not recall anything unusual. Once we got to the airport my parents met us there and we unloaded all of our stuff. My mom then told me what my grandmother said on Tuesday. I kind of looked at my mom like what are you crazy? There is nothing wrong with his brain, I thought it was just a virus or something. I told my mom that I had already planned to take him to his doctor the next morning. So after we said our goodbyes Benaiah and I headed for our gate and Dan took Josiah with him to return the rental car. When Josiah and Dan got to the gate he was carrying Josiah. He did not want to walk and he seemed a little week. Once we got on the plane and seated, Josiah said he was going to throw up and he did. I definitely thought yeah he has some kind of stomach virus. Once we landed at Orlando Airport and we had already gotten our bags, Josiah threw up again. I was glad we were outdside and yet that is when I felt like something more was going on. I thought to myself "Could my grandma be right?"
On the road, Josiah slept and we arrived home at 10:30 PM. When we came inside our house Josiah went straight to bed along with Benaiah. Before Dan and I went to bed, I checked on Josiah and it seemed like he was sleeping fine. Midnight rooled around and I hear this thump. I go to see and it was Josiah who fell in the bath tub trying to throw up in the toilet. When I saw him I picked him up and he still needed to throw up. When he did it was a clear yellow liquid. He was so weak and couldn't walk. He wanted to go back to sleep so I allowed him to do so. I heard in my spirit that Josiah was being attacked. I went to bed praying in the spirit.
Sunday - I woke up at 6:00 AM and immediatley called the doctor and made an appointment for 7:45 AM. Dan woke up a little later and started to get ready for church. I called one of the MC girls to come and watch Ben while I took Josiah to the doctor. I remember telling Dan not to be surprised if Dr. Kelly tells us we need to take Josiah to the hospital. With that in mind I got a bag ready just incase. When we got to the doctors' we saw Dr. Kelly and I told her the symptoms and she told me it was either two things: 1) He could have fluid build up behind his ears causing the dizziness and vomiting or 2) He is showing signs of a stroke.
When I heard that I was shocked and numb. From that point on I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I called Dan and told him the news. He was speechless. I drove by the church picked him up and headed to the hospital. On the way there Josiah was horribly weak and I kept asking him how many fingers do I have up Josiah and he would answer me correctly. that brought some comfort to me. Once we got there they immediately took him in for a cat scan. Then they had to put an IV in and it took them 5 times to get one in. We spent an hour or two in the room with Josiah. He was calm and watching TV. Then Dr. Kausey came in the room and he said "We looked over Josiah's scans and..........we found something." When I heard that I felt like I was having an outer body experience. I felt like this is not happening it is a dream a nightmare.
I started to call my family. I was frozen in shock and despair. My mom fell on her knees in complete and utter shock and disbelief. I heard her cry out. I called my brother and I said "Nick they found something" and hearing that he tried to comfort me. I couldn't cry for some reason. I felt like I did not have time to cry or go in a rage. I had to be there for my son I will deal with my reaction later. So they admitted Josiah and we stayed.
Monday - Josiah had been on medication all night. Nurses were in and out checking him. They started him on steroids to prevent swelling in his brain. When the sun came up he seemed to be better. This day was the day we were to find out exactly what Josiah has. We preped him for an MRI. They had to put him under anesthetia. Once that was over with we got back to our room. My mom and I were there and Dr. Barbosa (the cancer doctor) came in without any warning and pretty much told me the worst news of my life. I was bitter on how unprofessional he was in telling me because Dan was not in the room. He told me that this is a brain tumor called Brain Stem Glioma or pontine glioma. He said it is the size of an egg and that Josiah has eighteen months to live. I collasped into my mother's arms. I felt my body go weak and numb. I could not walk. I started hyperventalating and I managed to get up from my mother's arms. I walked out of the room and I faced the doctor and told him I wanted to see it for myself. He showed me the MRI scans and there it was, the tumor. It truly was the size of an egg. I kept asking him if he was sure and if there was anything they could do. He just looked at me and told me no. Now bythis point, Dan was coming back and I saw him coming up the hall. I looked at him and he could see it on my face that there was something terribly wrong. When he found out Dan went into this shocked non reactive mode. He was stunned. After that some other doctors came in the room to look at him. They were nuero surgeons. One doctor Dr. Tuitt said we were to meet tomorrow to talk further detail.
Well I will end it hear. I will post another time.
Monday - We flew to Puerto Rico and Josiah was fine. At that point I did not notice anything different, other than him being a little tired due to waking up so early. We landed and met my parents there and went straight to my grandmother's house. We had a great Puerto Rican dinner. From there we went to our hotel and Josiah was still acting fine.
Tuesday - We went to my grandma again and spent most of the day there. One event that sticks out to me is when Dan went to run an errand Josiah got so upset that he left. I mean Josiah was out of control mad. I knew he pitched fits like a normal 4 year old, but this was like the incredible hulk of all fits. Well after calming him down and soothing him he remained real quiet. I thought it was because he must of been tired from his fit. My grandmother watched him closely and paid close attention to Josiah's facial expression. She felt in her spirit that something was wrong neurologically. It was something in the way he was staring. I did not know this at that time because she did not tell me until my mom mentioned it to me at the airport when we were to fly home. So I continued to think that he was okay and that he was just tired.
Wednesday - We went to El Morro, which is a huge Spanish fort. It is absolutely gorgeous there. It requires a lot of walking going from place to place and plus it's hot. Josiah was acting a little different. This time I noticed. He was asking me to carry him and that he was to tired to walk. He seemed like he had a virus or something. After El Morro we went to my parent's resort and Josiah was feeling a little better.
Thursday - We spent the day at my parent's resort. Josiah enjoyed the pool and hanging out with his grandpa. It really was a good day. Later that night Dan and I went out to eat and my parents watched the boys for us. Everything was fine.
Friday - We had to drive down south to Ponce where the youth convention was held. It was a grueling drive. We had go through the jungle and over small mountains. Josiah slept the entire time. Ben on the other hand got car sick and threw up oreo cookies. It was so messy and smelly! Anyway Josiah continued to sleep. When we arrived we checked in to our resort and we got settled. Josiah was fine he seemed to be having a good time. When it came time to sleep he and Benaiah did great.
Saturday - This was going home day. We had to pack up and leave to San Juan which would be a 3 hour drive. Josiah and Ben did fine. I did not recall anything unusual. Once we got to the airport my parents met us there and we unloaded all of our stuff. My mom then told me what my grandmother said on Tuesday. I kind of looked at my mom like what are you crazy? There is nothing wrong with his brain, I thought it was just a virus or something. I told my mom that I had already planned to take him to his doctor the next morning. So after we said our goodbyes Benaiah and I headed for our gate and Dan took Josiah with him to return the rental car. When Josiah and Dan got to the gate he was carrying Josiah. He did not want to walk and he seemed a little week. Once we got on the plane and seated, Josiah said he was going to throw up and he did. I definitely thought yeah he has some kind of stomach virus. Once we landed at Orlando Airport and we had already gotten our bags, Josiah threw up again. I was glad we were outdside and yet that is when I felt like something more was going on. I thought to myself "Could my grandma be right?"
On the road, Josiah slept and we arrived home at 10:30 PM. When we came inside our house Josiah went straight to bed along with Benaiah. Before Dan and I went to bed, I checked on Josiah and it seemed like he was sleeping fine. Midnight rooled around and I hear this thump. I go to see and it was Josiah who fell in the bath tub trying to throw up in the toilet. When I saw him I picked him up and he still needed to throw up. When he did it was a clear yellow liquid. He was so weak and couldn't walk. He wanted to go back to sleep so I allowed him to do so. I heard in my spirit that Josiah was being attacked. I went to bed praying in the spirit.
Sunday - I woke up at 6:00 AM and immediatley called the doctor and made an appointment for 7:45 AM. Dan woke up a little later and started to get ready for church. I called one of the MC girls to come and watch Ben while I took Josiah to the doctor. I remember telling Dan not to be surprised if Dr. Kelly tells us we need to take Josiah to the hospital. With that in mind I got a bag ready just incase. When we got to the doctors' we saw Dr. Kelly and I told her the symptoms and she told me it was either two things: 1) He could have fluid build up behind his ears causing the dizziness and vomiting or 2) He is showing signs of a stroke.
When I heard that I was shocked and numb. From that point on I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I called Dan and told him the news. He was speechless. I drove by the church picked him up and headed to the hospital. On the way there Josiah was horribly weak and I kept asking him how many fingers do I have up Josiah and he would answer me correctly. that brought some comfort to me. Once we got there they immediately took him in for a cat scan. Then they had to put an IV in and it took them 5 times to get one in. We spent an hour or two in the room with Josiah. He was calm and watching TV. Then Dr. Kausey came in the room and he said "We looked over Josiah's scans and..........we found something." When I heard that I felt like I was having an outer body experience. I felt like this is not happening it is a dream a nightmare.
I started to call my family. I was frozen in shock and despair. My mom fell on her knees in complete and utter shock and disbelief. I heard her cry out. I called my brother and I said "Nick they found something" and hearing that he tried to comfort me. I couldn't cry for some reason. I felt like I did not have time to cry or go in a rage. I had to be there for my son I will deal with my reaction later. So they admitted Josiah and we stayed.
Monday - Josiah had been on medication all night. Nurses were in and out checking him. They started him on steroids to prevent swelling in his brain. When the sun came up he seemed to be better. This day was the day we were to find out exactly what Josiah has. We preped him for an MRI. They had to put him under anesthetia. Once that was over with we got back to our room. My mom and I were there and Dr. Barbosa (the cancer doctor) came in without any warning and pretty much told me the worst news of my life. I was bitter on how unprofessional he was in telling me because Dan was not in the room. He told me that this is a brain tumor called Brain Stem Glioma or pontine glioma. He said it is the size of an egg and that Josiah has eighteen months to live. I collasped into my mother's arms. I felt my body go weak and numb. I could not walk. I started hyperventalating and I managed to get up from my mother's arms. I walked out of the room and I faced the doctor and told him I wanted to see it for myself. He showed me the MRI scans and there it was, the tumor. It truly was the size of an egg. I kept asking him if he was sure and if there was anything they could do. He just looked at me and told me no. Now bythis point, Dan was coming back and I saw him coming up the hall. I looked at him and he could see it on my face that there was something terribly wrong. When he found out Dan went into this shocked non reactive mode. He was stunned. After that some other doctors came in the room to look at him. They were nuero surgeons. One doctor Dr. Tuitt said we were to meet tomorrow to talk further detail.
Well I will end it hear. I will post another time.
posted by Maria | 3:10 PM
5 Comments:
Sweet Sweet Maria. I just want you to know just how much I love you. You are like my own daughter. You and your beautiful little family are continuous in my heart and prayers. Always feel free to call me or if your in town, my home is your home without further notice or invitations. Again, I love you, Vickie.
Maria, thank you so much for sharing your life in your new blog, even the not so pretty details. You are such an amazing woman & so incredibly precious.
Maria, I can't imagine... and I hope you won't mind if I say I don't want to... what you must have been going through. I do know the endless love I feel for my kids and know that you feel the same for yours. Thank you for sharing this here. I have to say, I have been wondering how you were handling all of this.
Maria, Thank you for sharing with all of us. I know it must be a hard thing to do. My family is praying for a miracle.
Maria, Thank you for sharing, My heart is full right now just by reading. I still have the picture of me and you and Crystal at LAX in December of 1999, when I helped Crystal move out there and you were very pregnant with Josiah. We really have no idea of the process that the Lord will take us through do we? Thank you again for sharing. We are believing with you and Dan.... Love ya- Staci & Chris
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